Dear readers,
The title of this particular blog post is misleading because nothing in my body paragraph has changed. At least not yet. So that is the question I have for my group, What do you think I need to change? My topic sentence I think may be a little shaky so any suggestions on that would be wonderful. Also with any repetition that is in there would be a helpful comment. Thanks for the help!
Love, Amaya
I think your first sentence could be split into two. I really like your commentaries for your second concrete detail, but you don't have a transition for your third concrete detail.
ReplyDeleteYeah the first sentence is a little shaky. Try something flipped like "The sermons in TIBE are clearly representing Dr. Chasuble and his attitude towards his job." And then add the other stuff in the second sentence like what Catherine said. If it doesn't sound right then just keep flipping. It'll come out eventually. Also, in your second quote, make sure you have a dot-dot-dot after the quotation marks ( "...a classical allusion...")Unless the quote starts with "a" in which case the a would need to be capitalized. Sorry it took so long to comment :(
ReplyDeleteWow that frowny looks weird yet awesome in that font hahaah...
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